The Gold-Powered DeLorean and an Accidental Time Traveler

It was a tranquil evening at the store called Premier Estate Buyer Boca Raton, whereby the employees were closing it down for the day. The glass entrance suddenly burst open, with a DeLorean coming in, screeching its way to a stop right into the middle of the showroom.

A man in a lab coat and welding goggles sprang out. His hair was fried, his face was covered in soot, and he looked like he hadn't slept in three centuries.

"I NEED GOLD!" he shrieked.

A Gold Emergency

Greg, the store manager, blinked. "Excuse me?"

The man wiped his face and held up a flux capacitor dripping with molten metal. "I need precisely 88 ounces of gold or my time machine will be stuck in the year 1672, and trust me, you do NOT want to be stuck in 1672!"

Greg raised an eyebrow. "Sir, did you just say you built a time machine powered by gold?

"YES," the scientist yelled. "Platinum is too expensive, and silver just makes the whole thing smell weird!"

A Hard Bargain

Greg crossed his arms. "Okay, we do buy and sell gold here at Boca Raton Gold Buyer, but time-traveling crazies aren't exactly our target demographic. How are you paying for this?"

The scientist sneered and reached into his pocket.

A second later, he slammed a solid gold iPhone onto the counter.

"This," he said dramatically, "is the iPhone 47 Pro Ultra Elite. Straight from the year 2094. It's waterproof, solar-powered, and it can call alternate dimensions."

Greg picked it up and hit the home button. Immediately, an ad for a sentient robot toothbrush started to play.

"Alright," Greg exhaled. "I'll take it."

The Great Escape

Within minutes, Greg had weighed out 88 ounces of gold, the scientist had dumped it into his DeLorean's engine, and the car was starting to glow ominously.

"THANK YOU!" the scientist shouted. "I SHALL RETURN IN EXACTLY FIVE MINUTES!!"

With that, he floored the gas pedal, hit 88 mph, and disappeared in a blinding flash of light.

Greg checked his watch.

Five minutes passed.

Then ten.

Then an hour.

The scientist never came back.

Greg sighed. "Well, guess I own the future's most overpriced paperweight."

He chucked the gold iPhone 47 Pro Ultra Elite into the display case and attached a sign:

"EXTREMELY RARE – $500,000. NO RETURNS."